from daul kim's blog, I LIKE TO FORK MYSELF:

"you start to wonder

why

your face seems to glow

after the night you drank

and also you start to realise

the next day your face looks dull

so you start to do this

drink tonight and look good tommorow morning,

and then drink tommorow night for the

day after tommorow,

and you wake up one day with a headache.


so you stop for a while, and then you drink again

the champaign you got after shooting, and suddenly

you have to deal with reality and failed relationships

you get a massive headache and you come home

and pass out."

thanks bros

repeat repeat repeat.

wowowoW.

http://www.photographyabdu.com/free-photograph-asian-people-of-human-interest-photography/

a couple days ago 

a massive butterfly flew in front of my car

it was so big and bright. 

i didn't even know ones like that existed here. 

i stared at it for awhile in my car

probably blocking traffic.

making islands where no islands should go

i watched paranormal witness last night

there was some evil poltergeist attacking a home. 

i keep watching ghost shows, ufo shows, big foot shows, and other paranormal stuff...

i'm turning into one of those people who

is going to think everything is some crazy conspiracy 

of

mystery

.

http://her0inchic.tumblr.com/post/10193861299

i chose coffee. 

with a side salad.

"should i kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?"

also

Um Hi. 




love of my life part II.

from sarah

http://practicingdainty.tumblr.com/

linked from sarah farrell's blog

one of the the 

lights of my life. 

SARAH'S BLOG.

well?

http://poiseandvogue.blogspot.com/2010/05/model-party.html

"It's such a stupid question, in my opinion. I mean, how do you know what you're going to do till you do it? The answer is, you don't. I think I am, but how do I know? I swear it's a stupid question."

~ from The Catcher in the Rye

"I don't know why we behaved like lunatics."


~ from Heart of Darkness

destroy me trance

http://kultkids.tumblr.com/post/3551355025

getting into shape beginning...

this coming week. 

no more subway pizzas 

gr :(

but that is only because we are not in boston.

california is not subway pizza friendly. 

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

"No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.


Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

~Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple. 

read the entire speech here.

seriously. read it. 

edit: a few weeks/slightly over a month after i wrote this, steve jobs died. keep him in your hearts, and his message.

daul kim. 

today my mom surprised me
with some chanel lipstick.
i remember daul saying on her blog
that when she modeled for chanel
they gave her free makeup
and she felt very grown up having
chanel lipstick in her purse.

and thats how i feel.
when my mom presented me with my gift
i instantly sat up straighter and crossed my legs
because with chanel
you are a lady
and nothing is more ladylike than
lipstick.

i'm happy.

.

http://popsicledownside.tumblr.com/post/3989615463/what-gets-you-up-in-the-morning-this-sucks

step 1. 

reformulate.

repeat. 

end. 

don't know why i'm thinking about cowboy bebop so much lately.

i remember a few years ago,
i was playing this song alone in some room,
head slumped forward on my arm on a table.
my brother walked in and said i looked like
one of those lonely old guys at a bar drinking alone.
i liked the rustic imagery of it.

i like this song. 


it just makes me think....

easy come, easy go. 

and we will take whatever comes.

i've been getting the urge to blog a lot lately
but whenever i sit down to do it
i am blank.

it's shitty because
it just makes me feel even more
________
than i do everyday.
like, i can't even be productive enough to blog
and blogging used to be my haven.

and now i don't feel anything.
i don't know.

ah, well. whatever happens..happens.

bang.

its impossible to be afraid when you listen to nyan cat.



try it.

:D

how can the world be a bad place
when this exists on the internet.
seriously.

i stepped on a piece of glass.

that's all. 

end. 

blogger is fucking causing me problems with this post

whenever i start getting down, i think about megan fox and how hot she is. observe:

now, doesn't the world seem like a better place already?

and at least the fucking post worked this time.

satchels of gold? what?

http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/mutantsloth/review/36955313/

corvio

http://www.bigpicture.in/beautiful-eyes-photography-by-bella-tokaeva/corv

hello, vokda, we meet again.

a lot of times i miss the darkness
even though it controlled me
and made me miserable.
because really,
i controlled it
and it made me happy,
happiness wrapped in misery
but still there beneath the crusty layer.

http://www.photomacrography2.net/cool-photography-images-2



i remember last summer, i went on a mini Salinger binge, i re-read catcher in the rye, franny and zooey, and then a bunch of his short uncollected stories. i had always loved him after catcher, but franny pretty much solidified the deal. at first i didn't like zooey much, but i did when i reread it. and his short stories are beautiful and kind of tragic. he seems like a very interesting guy...

"It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to." 

~from The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

so.... i actually went to the gym.

Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower; 
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind; 
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be; 
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering; 
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind. 

~William Wordsworth "Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood"

.

Firstview/VOGUE.com

we meet again.

can't sleep
eh. i guess i am okay with it.
if i'm still awake by 5am i think
i'll go work out at the gym
and explore my new music some more.
i got pretty hungry about 20 mintues ago
but i always feel guilty when midnight (3am?) snacking
so
i ate celery, it was pretty yummy and refreshing.
(negative calories...so...it's okay, right? right.) 

i wish i had the 'when harry met sally' dvd, totally in the mood for it. love it.

ha

http://pichaus.com/+word+photography+art/

http://feedgrids.com/source/iniwoo/15

and

i will never be there again. 

...

"Maybe there's a trapdoor under my chair, and I'll just disappear."

~Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger

.

http://francescabennett.blogspot.com/2008/09/vintage-photography.html

it's 3:02 am
i'm watching lost in translation

reminds me of my super emo times
when i was basically an insomniac
and never slept
and my brother had these
movies
on his computer
i would watch them all the time
repeating

lost in translation was always
my favorite.

i was very happy to see it was on.

edit: after this i watched america's next top model (first season) for like three hours. thank the tv gods for marathons!

my heart is open to you now
not out of love
or hate

but out of some
warped
perverted
desperation.

i could listen to this song forever.

http://www.pinkforsure.com/photography-graphics37.php

oh wait, 

i already do. 

it's been kinda weird.

so here i am
sipping whiskey
listening to trance
blogging

reminds me of last summer
which is good.

the other day,
i was driving in the back seat of a car
the window rolled down
the warm air whipping my
face

and for the first time this summer
i thought
"oh, wow. it's summer."

and i enjoyed it.

thanks bro

very, very good. 

SPOLIER. kind of.

from the comic book series the last man.
super amazing, on a lot of levels.
want to re-read soon.

traxx dance radio

daul kim. 

and somewhere in the wilderness we found salvation

scratched into the earth 

like a message

i've been wanting to do this post for awhile

it's really something stupid, but something i think all the time. it has to do with electronic music.


like, i hate when ppl group all the electronic genres together. i'm not trying to be a music snob, cause i probably fuck up a lot too, but i get irritated when even the obvious genres are intermixed.

this is only semi-related, but i see trance, techno, and dub step visually in my head when they are played.

techno i see as short lines one after the other, like this: - - - - ------ -
      or whatever. cause its beats sound that way.
whereas trance is like: _____________
    these long beats (the vvmp vvmp sound).
then dubstep i imagine being like those fireworks that you use and then they explode into a flower; i can't remember the name.


this probably doesn't make any sense, and i sound crazy. but. i always have these visuals when i hear music so
there you go.

.

" 'I understand you had quite the little chat.'

'Yes, we did. We really did. I was in his office for around two hours, I guess.'

'What'd he say to you?'

'Oh...well, about Life being a game and all. And how you should play it according to the rules. He was pretty nice about it. I mean he didn't hit the ceiling or anything. He just kept talking about Life being a game and all. You know.'

'Life is a game, boy. Life is a game that one plays according to the rules.'

'Yes, sir. I know it is. I know it.'

Game, my ass. Some game. If you get on the side where all the hot-shots are, then it's a game, all right - I'll admit that. But if you get on the other side, where there aren't any hot-shots, then what's the game about? Nothing. No game."

~The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

ballet today

favorite songs of the moment:

1) lil wayne feat. drake - right above it
2) pol - dengue (karybde and scylla remix)   ~ (this is pretty much ALWAYS my favorite)
3) rodrigo y gabriela - diablo rojo
4) kanye west feat. bon iver - lost in the world (the leaked version, not the album version)
5) the national - secret meeting
6) afrojack feat. eva simons - take over control (extd. mix)

still missing a lot of music, but working on it.

duel of fates

http://s706.photobucket.com/albums/ww61/chocolovermadd/Super%20Smash%20Brothers%20Brawl%20or%20SSBB/?action=view&current=LinkVsMarth.jpg&mediafilter=images

+

http://donchavez.com/blog/2011/05/31/pool-party-daily-dozen/hipster-asian-dad/

don't give up even though i'll give up

http://www.forkparty.com/10897/hipster-girls-pictures-march/hipster-girls-milkshake

quiero

http://favim.com/image/62238/

my dream.

So do I warn you
I see things when I hold you
But Ive whispered: "its alright"
It is you and me and a long night
You're a ghost in the doorway
I can see through, but I hold tight
Ill just stay on holding until it hurts
I just want you to know you're lovely,
Dont worry, nothing can go wrong, Dont worry, nothing can go wrong, Dont worry, nothing can go wrong, Dont worry, nothing can go wrong
nothing

~hold tight london by chemical brothers

currently my favorite song of the past weeks.

hi.

alexa chung - overall, i don't get the whole "fashion icon" thing. but she's at least way better than chloe sevigny. i will never understand how the latter was labeled an icon.

ah well - easy come, easy go.

wow, so.

i'm a dumbass. i've never really seen videos of misty copeland dance before, but JESUS CHRIST. she really is an amazing dancer/person. (for those outside of the ballet community, misty copeland is a ballet dancer with American Ballet Theatre, the second Black soloist the company has ever had!!!!).






i feel so inspired right now.

i don't know how to feel.

no, really. 

i don't. 

dream world

muave

crazy crazy crazy dreams

you stared through stolid eyes
lucifer's malignant grin just below
the surface
rejoicing over his recent prey

but he will fall
by his own resplendence
because the morning star,
she rises in the east

and in her sweet deflagration
the demon will falter
and burn in her unbearable love.

note: "lucifer" refers to both satan, and venus the planet (as a morning star).
i didn't know this, and found it ironic since venus is the goddess of love.

there are about 170 billion galaxies that we can see from earth.
each one of those has about 350 billion stars.



...


edit: i should clarify, from above Earth's atmosphere. that we analyze on Earth.

love.

there's that noise again

http://www.templeofcats.com/photos/hipster-kitty/

http://www.dailystab.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/milla-jovovich-maxim-4.jpg

i really love her. i think she has a cool face. 

and if you look up old modeling pictures of her when she has short hair

she looks super hot and androgynous. 

love. 

and i mean, you can't really top any girl who was in the fifth element right? 

okay except maybe if you were megan fox.

so a commercial came on today
it was just like this crappy not-serious-at-all commercial
but it asked "what was the most amazing thing you have ever seen?"

and i was like hmm kinda a cool question actually.
so i started thinking about what my answer would be
and at first i thought
theres no way you can pinpoint one sight
but then in the next heartbeat
i remembered how i felt when i saw the stars for the first time.

like not in shitty light-polluted cities and crap
like, when i first saw what i had been missing.
the first time i was in a completely dark area
and i saw just how many stars are out there
and how rare it is to be able to see that
with the perfect night wrapped around me
and feeling wondrously small beneath the
the most comforting and inspiring sight that can ever exist.
it was beautiful. it was pure.

it was the most amazing thing ive ever seen.



i think that should tell me something about my future.... maybe philosophy is not my calling.

i like the other version, too (deuxieme).

lately
i'm not sleeping
i'm not breathing
without machines


lately
my heart's been breaking
my heart's been breaking
through the seams 

the Foxes in Fiction cover is also good. 

shut me off.  

i want to lose myself

except i am already lost

forever young.

http://walkingthroughfire.xanga.com/713349971/item/

a lot i wanted to say earlier today. 

but now it is forgotten. 

so. 

whatever. 

it doesnt exist. 

maybe tomorrow it will. 

maybe not. 

sometimes those fleeting, forgotten moments

are the most beautiful. 

yeah. what the fuck.

Take me home
I've had enough
And I'm done

All the alcohol
Is not setting well at all

The drugs wore off
All the pills have stopped
And these are the tiny hands
That rip us a part

And I've got one foot in the gate of hell
And you've got two hands hailing taxis down
And he got three years just for givin' up
And I've got nothing to complain about

I got one foot in the gate of hell
You got two hands hailing taxis down
He got three years just for givin' up
And I've got nothing to complain about

Don't give up
Even though I'll give up
Cause this is a front
You want me now
Cause I will be here all night
It seems if only an empty drink
Cause this is a front
You want me now
Cause I am lost without you

it'll be our secret place

we can be lonely
and strange
and happy together
there
forever.





or until we get bored. 

i'll meet you there

http://imgfave.com/search/rabbit%20mask

i promise.

toldja.

http://pichaus.com/+model+black/

you'll know when you find the one

http://www.tumblr.com/dashboard

pure beauty.

pure sorrow.





daul kim: iliketoforkmyself.blogspot.com/

feeling a little better today!

chocolate.

astronomy win.

sunny day.





ten days later and its still stuck in my head.

i need to marry a guy like this

he's funny.

okay so

this is a very quick
angry
rant

i apologize (kinda) in advance.

for about the 3rd time this year
i have been very open
and gotten nothing in return

no acknowledgement

and its like
i don't even care if what you have to say
is not what i want to hear

just react
don't be fucking indifferent



like



what the fuck.

seriously.


i'm done with everyone
for awhile.

stars, nebula, trance, rave, candy, work out.

all i need right now.

fuck off.

my love

http://extras.denverpost.com/archive/captured.html

"Hey...I'm sorry...okay...? What should I call....this feeling? still sleeping...in my undeveloped heart...the flower in my heart."


~kyo

airport, time, drunk, fly, layover, fly, song on repeat for 24 hours.

"and there is nowhere in the universe to hide
from you tonight.

i've wrestled with angels all my life
its always angels and halos that keep you blind.
and if i'd fought with all the strength i had inside
i wouldn't be out here
alone tonight."

all in a name.

i am insane.



but i have a new favorite artist.

that is enough to keep me going, for now.

hope.

i'm a fuck up.

but at least i'm happy right now, in this moment.

i lost my phone. again.

i just feel like sitting in limbo
not really feeling up or down
just need to sit
and think

i guess limbo
is the perfect place for that.



sigh.

"stars aren't so hard when u have neurons as friends"

http://scissoraristocracy.blogspot.com/2011_01_01_archive.html

from my lukey.

another day staring at the ceiling

http://thedailyzombies.blogspot.com/2010_11_01_archive.html

regret

http://weheartit.com/entry/4561708

leo.

 

http://www.visualphotos.com/image/2x4070293/young_girl_kissing_a_boy_on_the_cheek

The good times are killing me. Here we go!

Got dirt, got air, got water and I know you can carry on.
Shrug off shortsighted false excitement and oh what can I say?
Have one, have twenty more "one mores" and oh it does not relent

vodka, swimsuit, empty.

"you have to do this for me or i'll never be able to forgive you."

"for dying?"

"no


for making me love you."

.

i don't know what is right anymore.

do i care what is right?

did i ever care?

i think we will all be okay.

sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say 'i love you'

http://heatherlydee.blogspot.com/2010/08/smile.html

but "saying goodbye means forgetting"

do we want to forget?

toaster

 

http://www.free-computer-wallpapers.com/pictures/Widescreen-wallpaper/Tricia_Helfer_7

see you, space cowboy.

easy come, easy go....

peru

heartbeat

http://www.myclassiclyrics.com/artist_biographies/Helena_Bonham_Carter_Biography.htm

"i'm in pain."

"yeah...aren't we all."

blehpf

However you choose to portray the world and your situation is how it will manifest.  Don’t underestimate the power of language in ferrying information over the gap between actuality and perception: just like thought corrupts language, language corrupts thought. A lexicon of cynicism nurtures your own hell, vocabulary of peace grows your heaven. Sometimes it’s beyond will to overcome the inertia of pain, but it’s also up to you to develop and exercise the muscles against it. Above all, just don’t poison your own soul; there are too many episodes in life for it to be hamstrung with a malignant set of tools.

~jason douglas

supernova

*

i don't really know what to say
i feel like i'm feeling a lot right now

but it's nice to have those feelings
safe inside me
rather than escaping through the words
in my mouth.


so i'll leave it at that.

.

http://www.wearesuperfamous.com/tag/nikon-d40/

and a calm so calm with a calm that even though intermittent is better than nothing...

i'm finally back in school

http://andreysworld.blogspot.com

.

http://xkcd.com/817/

"There's this idea that a person's life is like a staircase… A mistake happens, a lesson is learned, and you're constantly growing and growing until you become older and wiser and then you die…
Life doesn't seem to work that way. I think I believed that it would, that I would try these different things - writing, acting, theater, directing - and somehow it would all make it clear where to go. And instead here I am in the middle of my life, completely lost."

~ethan hawke

makes me happy

"our fearless leader"

http://iliketoforkmyself.blogspot.com/

"what the fuck's your problem? [...] you have everything and you're doing your goddamn best to throw it all away [...] i'm the fuck up in the family, not you."

"don't say that [...] you didn't do anything wrong."

"it doesn't matter what i do...or what i choose. i am what's wrong. there's nothing i can do about it. if - if i'm not hurting myself, i'm hurting everyone around me. there's nothing i can do about it. i am...i am broken."

i like you cause you like me, and you don't like much.

life

trust me i'm a professional

http://explodingdog.tumblr.com/post/2325397093/i-can-help