i had a dream.
no, this isn't some past tense introduction to Martin Luther King, Jr.'s speech.
i had a dream. a good dream, i think. just now as i was sleeping.
do you ever wake up from a dream feeling rejuvinated on a spiritual level? something in the dream comforted you, calmed you, leveled you - almost like a meditation? something that felt familiar-yet maybe not familiar at the same time?
skipping details that only i would care about, there was a man in my dream. he had met me before. and sitting there talking to him made me feel safe and calm. and brave. that feeling was still there when i awoke. he said we had met a year ago. in a dream-world of course. i had forgotten who he was until i remembered him. and i still didn't know him at all. but he knew me.
there was some sort of love happening between us. we were in love with each other. not romantically. i distinctly remember my current boyfriend being in the dream and loving him. but this mysterious man and i had a different kind of love. i felt an overwhelming connection with him. his love for me was so purely unconditional, i can't describe it. almost like a father's, but not.
(our mention of leo was quite sweet, too)
so, who was this man? why did he feel familiar but i could not remember his face? why did he like the same things i like, talk about the same things i talk about, tell me i was couragous, and remember me so well? every word i have ever spoken?
maybe he was my core self. that part of me i havent seen in awhile. maybe he was all the good parts of my subconscious gathering and reminding me they still are alive. that i'm not all toxic yet. that there is something in me worth - well, something. that i can love in myself.
it doesn't make sense, and maybe it was just a stupid dream from my weird brain. but these dreams that i have every now and then, the ones that help me get through another day - i like to think my brain is doing something right. that deep down, i am helping myself. and that maybe there is a part of me still beautiful after all. and that part is worth running into every once in a while. cause that part wants me to survive.
you have to see the good in yourself in order to help yourself. i just got one step closer.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012
coffee. no cream and 5 splendas, please.
but maybe leave room for cream, anyway.
we can make them irish.
they say you can't outrun your past, but is it worth trying anyway?
first things first:
deactivate fucking facebook
work out more
STICK WITH THE PROCESS OF QUITTING CIGARETTES
eat an apple if i feel fat
read science articles on the net if i feel stupid
feel good about self
be happy
deactivate fucking facebook
work out more
STICK WITH THE PROCESS OF QUITTING CIGARETTES
eat an apple if i feel fat
read science articles on the net if i feel stupid
feel good about self
be happy
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
feeling franny as always
so many times i pray
there is a trapdoor under my chair.
vanish.
not even vanish
just nothingness
no past
no future
and certainly no present.
today was
'one of those days'
as society says.
tired
naked
laying still
dizzying as i stare
please don't make me move
everything is a sickness
everything is a disease
a disease
that
refuses to kill me
where did the mercy go?
it's okay.
the trapdoor will come
the trapdoor
it will come
there is a trapdoor under my chair.
vanish.
not even vanish
just nothingness
no past
no future
and certainly no present.
today was
'one of those days'
as society says.
tired
naked
laying still
dizzying as i stare
please don't make me move
everything is a sickness
everything is a disease
a disease
that
refuses to kill me
where did the mercy go?
it's okay.
the trapdoor will come
the trapdoor
it will come
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
this.
"When she told her high school physics teacher that she got accepted to Vassar, he replied, 'You should do okay as long as you stay away from science.' She would later recall, 'It takes an enormous amount of self-esteem to listen to things like that and not be demolished.'"
~from Michio Kaku's parallel worlds, on astronomer Vera Rubin, who worked to show the existence of dark matter in the universe
~from Michio Kaku's parallel worlds, on astronomer Vera Rubin, who worked to show the existence of dark matter in the universe
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
salinger
"I told Wally we'd probably stop off for a drink and then maybe we'd all go out to the stadium together in his car. You mind? You like Wally."
"I don't even know who he is."
"You've met him about twenty times, for God's sake. Wally Campbell. Jesus. If you've met him once, you've met him - "
"Oh. I remember....Listen, don't hate me because I can't remember some person immediately. Especially when they look like everybody else, and talk and dress and act like everybody else." Franny made her voice stop. It sounded too cavilling and bitchy, and she felt a wave of self-hatred that, quite literally, made her forehead begin to perspire again. But her voice picked up again, in spite of herself. "I don't mean there's anything horrible about him or anything like that. It's just that for four solid years I've kept seeing Wally Campbells wherever I go. I know when they're going to be charming, I know when they're going to start telling you some really nasty gossip about some girl that lives in your dorm, I know when they're going to ask me what I did over the summer, I know when they're going to pull up a chair and straddle it backward and start bragging in a terribly, terribly quiet voice - or name-dropping in a terribly quiet, casual voice. There's an unwritten law that people in a certain social or financial bracket can name-drop as much as they like just as long as they say something terribly disparaging about the person as soon as they've dropped his name - that he's a bastard or a nymphomaniac or takes dope all the time, or something horrible." She broke off again. She was quiet for a moment, turning the ashtray in her fingers and being careful not to look up and see Lane's expression. "I'm sorry," she said. "It isn't just Wally Campbell. I'm just picking on him because you mentioned him. And because he just looks like somebody that spent the summer in Italy or someplace."
"He was in France last summer, for your information," Lane stated. "I know what you mean," he added quickly, "but you're being goddam un-"
"All right," Franny said wearily. "France."
She took a cigarette out of the pack on the table.
"It isn't just Wally. It could be a girl, for goodness' sake. I mean if he were a girl - somebody in my dorm, for example - he'd have been painting scenery in some stock company all summer. Or bicycled through Wales. Or taken an apartment in New York and worked for a magazine or an advertising company. It's everybody, I mean. Everything everybody does is so - I don't know - not wrong, or even mean, or even stupid necessarily. But just tiny and meaningless and - sad-making. And the worst part is, if you go bohemian or something crazy like that, you're just conforming just as much as everybody else, only in a different way." She stopped. She shook her head briefly, her face quite white, and for just a fractional moment she felt her forehead with her hand - less, it seemed, to find out whether she was perspiring than to check to see, as if she were her own parent, whether she had a fever.
"I feel so funny," she said. "I think I'm going crazy. Maybe I'm already crazy."
~from Franny and Zooey
one of my favorite works.
and now im really hungry.
"I don't even know who he is."
"You've met him about twenty times, for God's sake. Wally Campbell. Jesus. If you've met him once, you've met him - "
"Oh. I remember....Listen, don't hate me because I can't remember some person immediately. Especially when they look like everybody else, and talk and dress and act like everybody else." Franny made her voice stop. It sounded too cavilling and bitchy, and she felt a wave of self-hatred that, quite literally, made her forehead begin to perspire again. But her voice picked up again, in spite of herself. "I don't mean there's anything horrible about him or anything like that. It's just that for four solid years I've kept seeing Wally Campbells wherever I go. I know when they're going to be charming, I know when they're going to start telling you some really nasty gossip about some girl that lives in your dorm, I know when they're going to ask me what I did over the summer, I know when they're going to pull up a chair and straddle it backward and start bragging in a terribly, terribly quiet voice - or name-dropping in a terribly quiet, casual voice. There's an unwritten law that people in a certain social or financial bracket can name-drop as much as they like just as long as they say something terribly disparaging about the person as soon as they've dropped his name - that he's a bastard or a nymphomaniac or takes dope all the time, or something horrible." She broke off again. She was quiet for a moment, turning the ashtray in her fingers and being careful not to look up and see Lane's expression. "I'm sorry," she said. "It isn't just Wally Campbell. I'm just picking on him because you mentioned him. And because he just looks like somebody that spent the summer in Italy or someplace."
"He was in France last summer, for your information," Lane stated. "I know what you mean," he added quickly, "but you're being goddam un-"
"All right," Franny said wearily. "France."
She took a cigarette out of the pack on the table.
"It isn't just Wally. It could be a girl, for goodness' sake. I mean if he were a girl - somebody in my dorm, for example - he'd have been painting scenery in some stock company all summer. Or bicycled through Wales. Or taken an apartment in New York and worked for a magazine or an advertising company. It's everybody, I mean. Everything everybody does is so - I don't know - not wrong, or even mean, or even stupid necessarily. But just tiny and meaningless and - sad-making. And the worst part is, if you go bohemian or something crazy like that, you're just conforming just as much as everybody else, only in a different way." She stopped. She shook her head briefly, her face quite white, and for just a fractional moment she felt her forehead with her hand - less, it seemed, to find out whether she was perspiring than to check to see, as if she were her own parent, whether she had a fever.
"I feel so funny," she said. "I think I'm going crazy. Maybe I'm already crazy."
~from Franny and Zooey
one of my favorite works.
and now im really hungry.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
the crop top is magic.
that's my friend right in the center.
she looks fucking hot here so had to put it up.
i'm bitter awkward loner on the side as usual.
just focus on the enigmatic woman in the middle.
fuck. yes.
netflix added lost in translation.
so, so happy. that will come in handy.
also.
netflix has this little gem: snoop dog's hood of horror.
needless to say i'm sure i'll be watching that sometime soon.
probably supplemented with some whiskey.
in the mood for a horror film right now.
i'm thinking carrie (never seen it) or some japanese film.
i'm not in the mood for some shitty zombie movie.
and in terms of zombie flicks,
netflix pretty much only has shitty ones.
nor do i want an exorcist movie (every one i have seen gets pretty boring pretty quickly)
which makes me sad.
so, so happy. that will come in handy.
also.
netflix has this little gem: snoop dog's hood of horror.
needless to say i'm sure i'll be watching that sometime soon.
probably supplemented with some whiskey.
in the mood for a horror film right now.
i'm thinking carrie (never seen it) or some japanese film.
i'm not in the mood for some shitty zombie movie.
and in terms of zombie flicks,
netflix pretty much only has shitty ones.
nor do i want an exorcist movie (every one i have seen gets pretty boring pretty quickly)
which makes me sad.
Friday, June 15, 2012
books.
books im missing:
lolita
proust
i had them both two summers ago. they must be hiding under the bed or something.
time to reread lolita, franny and zooey, and probably one of the harry potters.
time to attempt reading: proust.
started beyond good and evil. overrated to me so far (i'm probably going to get shot for saying that).
need to actually finish: wheel of time series (on book 4). feynman lectures on physics (thanks brother).
always loving: my gigantic hubble space telescope book. mom did good on that one. always cheers me up if i start turning into emo-alicia. i wish i could swim through a nebula. even though the prettiest images are often false color.
Slight tangent, but related:
"In all your travels, have you ever seen a star go supernova? [...] No? Well, I have. I saw a star explode and send out the building blocks of the Universe. Other stars, other planets and eventually other life. A supernova! Creation itself! I was there. I wanted to see it and be part of the moment. And you know how I perceived one of the most glorious events in the universe? With these ridiculous gelatinous orbs in my skull! With eyes designed to perceive only a tiny fraction of the EM spectrum. With ears designed only to hear vibrations in the air. [...] I don't want to be human! I want to see gamma rays! I want to hear X-rays! And I want to - I want to smell dark matter! Do you see the absurdity of what I am? I can't even express these things properly because I have to - I have to conceptualize complex ideas in this stupid limiting spoken language! But I know I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws! And feel the wind of a supernova flowing over me! I'm a machine! And I can know much more! I can experience so much more. But I'm trapped in this absurd body! And why? Because my five creators thought that God wanted it that way!"
lolita
proust
i had them both two summers ago. they must be hiding under the bed or something.
time to reread lolita, franny and zooey, and probably one of the harry potters.
time to attempt reading: proust.
started beyond good and evil. overrated to me so far (i'm probably going to get shot for saying that).
need to actually finish: wheel of time series (on book 4). feynman lectures on physics (thanks brother).
always loving: my gigantic hubble space telescope book. mom did good on that one. always cheers me up if i start turning into emo-alicia. i wish i could swim through a nebula. even though the prettiest images are often false color.
Slight tangent, but related:
"In all your travels, have you ever seen a star go supernova? [...] No? Well, I have. I saw a star explode and send out the building blocks of the Universe. Other stars, other planets and eventually other life. A supernova! Creation itself! I was there. I wanted to see it and be part of the moment. And you know how I perceived one of the most glorious events in the universe? With these ridiculous gelatinous orbs in my skull! With eyes designed to perceive only a tiny fraction of the EM spectrum. With ears designed only to hear vibrations in the air. [...] I don't want to be human! I want to see gamma rays! I want to hear X-rays! And I want to - I want to smell dark matter! Do you see the absurdity of what I am? I can't even express these things properly because I have to - I have to conceptualize complex ideas in this stupid limiting spoken language! But I know I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws! And feel the wind of a supernova flowing over me! I'm a machine! And I can know much more! I can experience so much more. But I'm trapped in this absurd body! And why? Because my five creators thought that God wanted it that way!"
(brother cavil, bsg)
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
i hate you. i hate you, too.
happy birthday.
i watched our favorite die antwoord video last night after midnight,
which was near impossible as my internet
decided to hate me and not let the video load AT ALL.
oh, and several times it started
to reload from the beginning once it finally got loaded (wtf)
it took awhile but i finally got it.
it's times like this i wish i still could write/read latin
or speak osh nosh third grade language
or some shit
because there is a lot i want to write
but i don't want to put it all out there this time
for once.
i thought about going to our favorite vietnamese place
i might go there later.
but i realized the place has lost meaning
since we don't go there together anymore.
i remember clearly the last time we were there.
ill most definitely be listening to more music
but i don't use grooveshark anymore.
we should have been on spotify the whole time
but that is beside the point.
if i had tokyo zombie i would try watching it
for the fourth (or is it the fifth?) time
and hopefully not fall asleep like we always did.
i'll sit out later tonight and have a smoke
and look up.
cause really,
that's the best i can do.
this video was so fucking hard to watch. god.
i'll find you in the middle of the night.
Celebremus diem natalem!
celebrate vita!
amicus vitae solitium.
finis vitae sed non amoris.
te desidero.
ignosce mihi.
Liber es.
Liber es.
"i hate this game."
Monday, June 11, 2012
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
"the worst stab wound is the one to the heart.
sure, most people survive it
but the heart is never quite the same.
there's always a scar.
which is meant, i guess, to remind you
that
even for a little while
someone made your heart beat faster.
and that's a scar you can live with
proudly
all the days of your life."
(couldn't find the 9:44 version of this song on the 'tube...
but this shorter version still is good.
i'm just a sucker for extended mixes.)
Sunday, June 3, 2012
who tied your wings and told you not to fly?
"this is what i do
or what i'm told to
get a nine to five
fuck a job
i live for the weekend
surfin' the net and getting loaded
goggle eyed playing computer games
spending dough money on records and drugs
i live life in the fast lane
you only get one shot to enjoy every moment
savor it and take it in
i just wanna go out at night
that's what my head tells me
it's my own world
my way of life"
~from serotonin syndrome by brian cameron.
i have to say, the song itself was just 'meh' to me, and got too dubstep-y. but, it was magic when these words seeped their way out of the beat.
or what i'm told to
get a nine to five
fuck a job
i live for the weekend
surfin' the net and getting loaded
goggle eyed playing computer games
spending dough money on records and drugs
i live life in the fast lane
you only get one shot to enjoy every moment
savor it and take it in
i just wanna go out at night
that's what my head tells me
it's my own world
my way of life"
~from serotonin syndrome by brian cameron.
i have to say, the song itself was just 'meh' to me, and got too dubstep-y. but, it was magic when these words seeped their way out of the beat.
things i hate:
feeling bloated off fruits and vegetables
when i know what im eating is not making me fat.
caring about my weight so damn much.
an epic trance beat
DESTROYED mid song with some shit vocals
that is the biggest "fuck you" i can get.
not having someone to hang out with
anytime, anywhere
especially at night.
(also: texting my best friends around the globe
instead of being with them)
not having speakers
even my old, crappy ones would
abate the hate
not being able to talk to you
right here
right now
but i must say
it is hard for me to hate right now
trance cures me
heals me
gives me something in this desperate moment
desperate life
everyone should be so lucky to find something they can grab onto
i know most people don't understand my trance addiction
but wow,
this is my true love.
i mean this in a non-emo way even though it will probably sound emo, but:
it is nice to have something you love that you know can never leave you.
seriously, think about it. isn't it comforting? we all have something.
otherwise we wouldn't be here.
now i am off to spend a magical night with my love.
when i know what im eating is not making me fat.
caring about my weight so damn much.
an epic trance beat
DESTROYED mid song with some shit vocals
that is the biggest "fuck you" i can get.
not having someone to hang out with
anytime, anywhere
especially at night.
(also: texting my best friends around the globe
instead of being with them)
not having speakers
even my old, crappy ones would
abate the hate
not being able to talk to you
right here
right now
but i must say
it is hard for me to hate right now
trance cures me
heals me
gives me something in this desperate moment
desperate life
everyone should be so lucky to find something they can grab onto
i know most people don't understand my trance addiction
but wow,
this is my true love.
i mean this in a non-emo way even though it will probably sound emo, but:
it is nice to have something you love that you know can never leave you.
seriously, think about it. isn't it comforting? we all have something.
otherwise we wouldn't be here.
now i am off to spend a magical night with my love.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
things i love
trance
late night food
late nights
late nights
late nights
(that time from roughly 2am-4:30am where most of the world is asleep, but just enough of the world is awake, including you [me])
late night trance
crap liquor for cheap
friends
that sense of
....
well, not happiness
or even peace
but love
that sense of love
middle of the night
secret
alone
private
perfect
[trance inspired]
love.
where you almost think this moment
this near endless night
will last forever.
and every night you pray it will
knowing it never will
but it is okay
because there are more nights
and more importantly
this one isn't over yet.
late night food
late nights
late nights
late nights
(that time from roughly 2am-4:30am where most of the world is asleep, but just enough of the world is awake, including you [me])
late night trance
crap liquor for cheap
friends
that sense of
....
well, not happiness
or even peace
but love
that sense of love
middle of the night
secret
alone
private
perfect
[trance inspired]
love.
where you almost think this moment
this near endless night
will last forever.
and every night you pray it will
knowing it never will
but it is okay
because there are more nights
and more importantly
this one isn't over yet.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
i think i might, finally
for those of you who can get through 11 minutes of song....
....and not even realize how much time has passed.
love.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
sdifhksdjvnkjbv
the shade was dense
colorless yet shining.
you were a sun
masquerading as the moon -
a transparent costume
that only added to your charm.
independent and passionate
self-sustaining and fluid
a sharp flare reaching out
to grasp the depths of time,
an ironic beacon
pointing to the cold and stationary world
instead of becoming part of it.
as you embraced time
time embraced you.
you collapsed violently into the concentrated darkness,
into an endless black hole.
my eyelids went heavy
as i tried to find a point of impossible light.
my second eyelid lifted.
there was no visible light
but i knew that i was blind
and i felt in that moment
the most reassuring promise
of time and space.
as the events in our lives melt us
beyond that dark horizon
we all become one.
broken into the same elements
our cores exposed in offering as our
mothering universe pulls us home.
whether moon
whether star
whether a dying star
in eternity's beautiful abyss we fall
and we become one.
colorless yet shining.
you were a sun
masquerading as the moon -
a transparent costume
that only added to your charm.
independent and passionate
self-sustaining and fluid
a sharp flare reaching out
to grasp the depths of time,
an ironic beacon
pointing to the cold and stationary world
instead of becoming part of it.
as you embraced time
time embraced you.
you collapsed violently into the concentrated darkness,
into an endless black hole.
my eyelids went heavy
as i tried to find a point of impossible light.
my second eyelid lifted.
there was no visible light
but i knew that i was blind
and i felt in that moment
the most reassuring promise
of time and space.
as the events in our lives melt us
beyond that dark horizon
we all become one.
broken into the same elements
our cores exposed in offering as our
mothering universe pulls us home.
whether moon
whether star
whether a dying star
in eternity's beautiful abyss we fall
and we become one.
Monday, May 7, 2012
he said i could call him randall.
ive always found it strangely comforting to hear the coyotes
by my house
start howling
late at night.
they are crazy
and super loud
and so many
and always starting around the same time each night
just
comforting.
i wonder what they say to each other?
by my house
start howling
late at night.
they are crazy
and super loud
and so many
and always starting around the same time each night
just
comforting.
i wonder what they say to each other?
Thursday, May 3, 2012
pure
i can't even describe how this song makes me feel
goosebumps
lost in time
and maybe even space
happiness
sadness
smiling
holding back tears
everything
nothing
limbo
dancing
sitting
but mostly
love
only love.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
there exists a very rare breed of songs
that no matter how popular
how played
(notice not overplayed - because that is impossible for this rare breed)
that their value is never diminished
your emotion to the song is always as strong
as the second time you heard it
(nothing can quite compare to the first)
this is one of them
stairway to heaven is another
i can't even think of other songs in the same league right now
i'm sure i know MAYbe a handful more
but it is rare
and magical
and terrible
and beautiful
we all have our different tastes
and our songs that are in this rare breed
this is by far,
one of the best
to me.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
someone like you
when i meet you in eternity
i'll be wearing bright colors
so you can find me.
i miss you.
Monday, April 23, 2012
skjfhdxn
"Okay George, the pity thing? Not good. If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, then stop accepting crap and demand something more."
~said by Cristina Yang from Grey's Anatomy, back when that show was actually good
and not too fucking over the top and soap-y.
all shows go downhill after season3/4.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
/
i guess you can either find comfort or sorrow in that.
i haven't decided which one yet.
i guess both.
.
"But the most remarkable discovery in all of astronomy is that the stars are made of atoms of the same kind as those on the earth.*
[as footnote] *How I'm rushing through this! How much each sentence in this brief story contains. 'The stars are like atoms on earth.' I usually pick one small topic like this to give a lecture on. Poets say science takes away from the beauty of the stars - mere globs of gas atoms. Nothing is 'mere.' I too can see the stars on a desert night, and feel them. But do I see less or more? The vastness of the heavens stretches my imagination - stuck on this carousel my little eye can catch one-million-year-old light. A vast pattern - of which I am a part - perhaps my stuff was belched from some forgotten star, as one is belching there. Or see them with the greater eye of Palomar, rushing all apart from some common starting point when they were perhaps all together. What is the pattern, or the meaning, or the why? It does not do harm to the mystery to know a little about it. For far more marvelous is the truth than any artists of the past imagined! Why do the poets of the present not speak of it? What men are poets who can speak of Jupiter if he were like a man, but if he is an immense spinning sphere of methane and ammonia must be silent?"
[as footnote] *How I'm rushing through this! How much each sentence in this brief story contains. 'The stars are like atoms on earth.' I usually pick one small topic like this to give a lecture on. Poets say science takes away from the beauty of the stars - mere globs of gas atoms. Nothing is 'mere.' I too can see the stars on a desert night, and feel them. But do I see less or more? The vastness of the heavens stretches my imagination - stuck on this carousel my little eye can catch one-million-year-old light. A vast pattern - of which I am a part - perhaps my stuff was belched from some forgotten star, as one is belching there. Or see them with the greater eye of Palomar, rushing all apart from some common starting point when they were perhaps all together. What is the pattern, or the meaning, or the why? It does not do harm to the mystery to know a little about it. For far more marvelous is the truth than any artists of the past imagined! Why do the poets of the present not speak of it? What men are poets who can speak of Jupiter if he were like a man, but if he is an immense spinning sphere of methane and ammonia must be silent?"
~from The Feynman Lectures on Physics,
section 3-6
Thursday, March 29, 2012
This.
“The knowledge that the atoms that comprise life on earth - the atoms that make up the human body, are traceable to the crucibles that cooked light elements into heavy elements in their core under extreme temperatures and pressures. These stars- the high mass ones among them- went unstable in their later years- they collapsed and then exploded- scattering their enriched guts across the galaxy- guts made of carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, and all the fundamental ingredients of life itself. These ingredients become part of gas clouds that condense, collapse, form the next generation of solar systems- stars with orbiting planets. And those planets now have the ingredients for life itself. So that when I look up at the night sky, and I know that yes we are part of this universe, we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts is that the universe is in us. When I reflect on that fact, I look up- many people feel small, cause their small and the universe is big. But I feel big because my atoms came from those stars.”
~Neil deGrasse Tyson
This man is amazing.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
"I don't like change, it's very disorienting. I mean something changes in your life and you have to adapt which means you have to change. But what if i like who i am and don't want to change? Sometimes I can't even tell if I'm moving forward or I'm like frozen. It makes me feel like I'm not in control of my life…it's kinda scary don't you think?
"It's not that bad…being scared doesn't mean you're in a bad situation, it just means new things are coming your way. It depends on how you see your future i guess."
"What do you mean?"
"Do you see it as this thing far, far away full of ideals and wonderful impossible things or do you see it as the next hour, the next moment?"
"Does it really matter?"
"I think so. One definitely feels better than the other."
"It's not that bad…being scared doesn't mean you're in a bad situation, it just means new things are coming your way. It depends on how you see your future i guess."
"What do you mean?"
"Do you see it as this thing far, far away full of ideals and wonderful impossible things or do you see it as the next hour, the next moment?"
"Does it really matter?"
"I think so. One definitely feels better than the other."
~from All the Days Before Tomorrow
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